Without Reason
by Blueraingurl
Summary: Deals with Nomiya and his thoughts on Ayu in episode 19.


**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Honey and Clover. Honey & Clover is property of its respective Japanese owners and distributors. No copyright infringement is intended._

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**A/N:** This is my first time writing for H&C. Any constructive criticisms, comments and thoughts are always welcomed.

**Warning:** **Spoilers for Episode 19. **I have taken great liberties with Nomiya's character. I do not know his personality beyond what was shown in the anime, so this is my rationale for him.

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**Title:** Without Reason

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Many things drove Nomiya Takumi's personality. It was not just one factor.

He had accomplished much at his young age and lacked nothing in return. He had the profession, the money and the women, if he wanted the latter. He spoke his mind and expected others to follow, whether or not they agreed. He demanded respect and professionalism for himself and his fellow peers. Although, he knew that he did not follow the rules in the strictest sense; if he did, he would not have enjoyed torturing Mayama as much as he did with Miwako and Yamazaki.

Nomiya vaguely wondered if that was why he did something so spontaneous – if he had just wanted to grate on Mayama's already frazzled nerves about Yamada's virtue against him.

_And,_ that is exactly what he did when he took Yamada away from the Hanami festival. He had been surprised with her sudden arrival and subsequent linked arms and breathless speech to '_take her away.'_ He knew she was drunk to an extent, but he also knew why she did it once Mayama showed up behind her.

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He had no qualms about telling Yamada her faults later on when they arrived at Odaiba to see the Ferris wheel. She had, after all used him to make Mayama jealous. She must have thought him stupid, if she thought otherwise. Similarly, he was not used to being used in that sense. Often it was the other way around as females would try to garner his attentions.

That thought alone annoyed him.

What annoyed him more was the fact that it was Yamada who did this. But '_when had he started to care about such trivial things though?' _He could have just left her with Mayama and continued his merry way to the festival. He didn't have time to play childish games, but he stopped himself from leaving because that would have meant that he would have to look at the pathetic expression on her face. He didn't understand why, but he didn't like the depressive aura that surrounded her whenever Mayama was around. He had seen the less reserved and happy side as they worked alongside doing pottery over the months.

Nomiya had seen many facets of Yamada throughout the months they worked together; her passion as she crafted clay, her un-feminine anger when she got mad and her nose-dripping face when she fell asleep in his car as she thought about Mayama. These many features would not have attracted her to him, he disliked too many points to count. However, he wondered why seeing one smile from her fluttered his heart.

He admitted that he liked her smile.

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He still wondered as he looked out at the dark sky, '_why had he brought her to this special place?' _The first job and first project he had taken on when he was fresh out of college; this place was what he worked on.

Odaiba and this Ferris wheel were memorable to him.

It brought him back to the bittersweet nights when plans fell through and clients had yelled at him. It only made it worse when his boss would frown with disapproval with his progress. But he had fought tooth and nail to make sure his designs and architecture followed his vision, and in the end they had grudgingly given him respect for his initiative and drive.

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'_So, why did he bring this drunken girl to his sacred place? What had he hoped when he told her about his experiences and what he went through when he first entered the workplace?'_

'_Maybe he wanted understanding? Maybe he was just lonely . . . maybe he wanted what he saw that was between Mayama and his group of close knitted friends?'_

Nomiya really didn't know the answer and that stumped him because he hadn't felt so insecure in such a long time.

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Eventually, he had to ask.

So he did as he asked Yamada earlier that day, on what made Mayama different and why she liked him so much. She had paused and even in her drunken state she smiled with longing. She had answered that it was his flaws that made him special.

_Flaws_ . . .

That was the one thing that drove Nomiya to reach perfection because he did not want to be flawed and yet, this girl had proudly stated that as Mayama's strength and appeal.

He wondered if he would ever understand the abyss of a women's mind. He knew everything else about them; their jealously, their drive for love, their selfishness and their other less than attractive traits. But he silently reflected and questioned himself again on why Yamada's sad smile had pulled strings in him that he had once thought impossible. And why that specific look differentiated her from the rest of them.

Nomiya didn't believe in love, he thought it meaningless and time consuming. But, he hated it more when he thought that he had become some kind of short distraction for Yamada and her pain over Mayama. He had retaliated earlier when he first spoke out about her true intentions. He knew she would cry, but he wasn't ready for the guilt that overwhelmed him at that moment when she cried.

He vaguely wondered why again, when an image of fluffy dogs and cute hearts overwhelmed him when he wanted to hug her in apology then. But he held back thankfully, for her sanity and his own.

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This made him analyze his thoughts about her again.

He had pursued Yamada's company to annoy Mayama at first; he was quite offended when Mayama had questioned his less than pure motives. In which, _yes, they were less than pure._ However, Yamada had grown on him in her own ways and he did generally enjoy her presence.

This thought brought him to look at Yamada on the bed next to his. She had finally fallen asleep after vomiting.

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Nomiya approached her stilled form and drew the blanket up to her chin.

"I don't understand," he spoke to himself as he brushed her brown hair from her sweat-filled face, "what is it about you?"

It would just be easier if he forgot about her and let her be in her pain, at least he would have his peace of mind. But he couldn't get rid of the image of Yamada as she hugged Mayama's coat in his car. It really was a sad sight as she cried herself to sleep; he had wanted to hold her then but instead mocked her after he dropped her off. '_Maybe he needed to work on his people skills after all? This might be one of his flaws . . .'_ Nomiya wondered if Yamada could like those kinds of flaws too from someone like him.

He shook his head. His thoughts on Yamada had become so circular with no definitive answer.

He walked over to his bed and got under the covers.

"Goodnight Ayumi," he spoke quietly. He didn't know why he said her first name but it sounded nice nevertheless and it had been a long time since he had wished anyone goodnight.

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Nomiya shifted in his bed. He could think more clearly in the morning, as for now he felt a sense of calm fill him as he looked at the side view of Yamada.

He smiled and closed his eyes as he welcomed sleep.


End file.
